Happy Birthday Kayla Ann.... you will always be my baby...

It's the end of January and it is my youngest child's birthday. Kayla Ann was born on January 29th, 1985 at the "NEW" Georgetown Hospital. For those of you that have lived here awhile, you will remember the opening of the NEW hospital. We were moving up big time and Kayla was one of the first babies born in that hospital. Wow, the rooms were awesome, new, clean and so different from the John Graves Ford Memorial Hospital where my other children were born. Actually, on June 24, 1956, I was born in that old hospital!!! You can only imagine the excitement this birth brought to my life...

Kayla Ann was born right before a huge snowstorm, so I called her my snow baby. She was just as cute as she could be. We all loved her dearly. As a matter of fact, there was never anytime during the day, when she was by herself. Her siblings were constantly entertaining her and she would just smile and watch. Kayla was such a good baby. She was a fun toddler and she grew into a sweet little girl, that was never lacking love in her life. When she got older she spent most of her time playing school, drawing, coloring and trying to do what her brother and sisters were doing.

Kayla was 8 years behind Jamie and 5 years behind Niki and Kelly, so after they grew up and left home, she became an only child. Now, she always had family that visited, but she didn't have to share everything. Greg and I had so much fun helping her with projects, laughing at her interacting with her friends and watching her become very independent. We learned so much from Kayla. We even learned all of the scientific names of certain plants and what they looked like. We had to drill her on them so she could compete at the State level with FFA. We were always busy. We savored every single event because, Kayla was the baby and we had no more children to follow on those adventures. She was the end of our line of children. The next people that we would watch doing "school things" would be grandchildren. Oh, how the years seemed to fly by...

Anyway, to shorten my story, when Kayla moved out Greg and I were so sad. We didn't even know what channel to watch on tv. However, she kept returning home and that made us so happy. She went to college and graduate school, then took off on her own. We couldn't hold her back and as parents, that is what we knew would happen. She has her own house and is a High School Mathematics teacher (I didn't see that one coming!)... We still love her, we still support her and we will always be here if she needs us...

Happy Birthday to my little snow baby... I love you with all of my heart...

Counting my blessings, even when I am having trouble finding them....

This year has just been so complicated so far for me, but when I look back, I see God everywhere. He has not turned His back on me or left me to figure it all out by myself, even if it does feel like He has. When I look back at the passing of my Papa Gene, I see God everywhere. He was there when we found out that the cancer was not treatable. He was there when my mom tried to care for him all by herself and it was taking such a toll on her. He was there when Hospice stepped in and started helping us cope with the dying process. He was there when Papa Gene quietly crossed over to Heaven with so much peace. The Friday night when I left his hospice room, I told him goodbye and that it was okay to go, we would take care of mom. That day was full of family and visits from friends, but you could tell that Papa Gene was experiencing pain. We all realized that it was time to let him go home...

I had a preacher tell me one time that "Early in the morning, the joy will return." So even though I left the hospital Friday night very burdened, when my mom called at 5:10 on Saturday morning, I knew for Papa Gene, the joy had returned...

Our next crazy event where we had to totally depend on God was when Lawsen took Levi's blood pressure medicine that Levi dropped on the floor. Levi did not tell anyone mainly because he has ADHD and in the mornings before he gets his medicines in his system, he is so impulsive and I'm sure he didn't even know that he dropped the pill. He certainly didn't think about Lawsen taking it. All day Lawsen did nothing but sleep and if you have met Lawsen you know he is a little fireball!!! He never stops... Late in the day Chris had the idea to ask Levi if Lawsen could have gotten his medicine. That is when Levi barely remembered dropping it. Thank God that he did remember. He felt terrible!! But God was there, keeping Lawsen from going into a coma, reminding Chris to ask about the possibility that he could have taken a pill. God was there when Jamie talked to poison control and they gave strict instructions to get him to the hospital because, this medicine could cause his heart to stop...

God was there at the hospital while the doctor and nurses were caring for Lawsen... God pulled him through and he is just fine again... God never leaves us!!

We have been through a lot this year, but thank you God for being with us every step of the way...

Missing a part of life as I know it...

I haven't been on here for months and honestly, I could not find my blog!! How funny is that? I just totally forgot where it was... Tonight however, I'm back : )

One week ago, my Papa Gene died. He had lung cancer... I think that cancer is such a thief. It robs people! It robbed me of more years with my stepdad... It robbed my mom of her husband... It robbed Lawsen of his Poppy... It robbed Kayla Ann of her granddad... I just don't understand cancer...

I did get to see how wonderful Hospice of the Bluegrass is... They took care of Papa Gene for a little over a week and I just don't think I can explain how gentle, kind and caring everyone from Hospice that we met was... They helped get the equipment that my mom needed to care for Papa Gene at home... The hospital bed, wheelchair, shower stool, just everything they knew that would help my mom out!!! Then, when Papa Gene was transferred to the Hospice Center in St Joseph Hospital they did not leave us while we watched and waited for what we knew would soon happen... They made his life so comfortable, even to the very end... For that I will always be grateful...

I learned that dying is a process, just as being born... Your body goes through many things as you are separating from it to go to Heaven... It was amazing... I learned that the body uses up all of the moisture in it before it dies... A dying person will get a rapid heart beat, sweat even if they are just sleeping and that burns up all of the fluid they have left... The brain sends out a signal to the body that a dying person does NOT need to eat or drink... The brain tells them that they are satisfied and if you force food or drink on them, they will get sick... The body cannot process the food or water...

You know how sometimes a person has a "near death experience" and they tell how their life flashed before their eyes? Well, a person that is dying a terminal death reviews every screen of their life that has happened. Good, bad or just mundane, they see everything!!! When they are finished with the review, they can die... I have decided that I want to die a quick death... That way I won't have to take so long reviewing my life!!

One last thing that I learned: Hearing is the first sense to develop on a baby and hearing is the last thing to leave on a dying person... We are wonderfully and completely made..

March 8th, 1931 - January 15th, 2011... I sure do miss you, Papa Gene... I'm glad you didn't have to suffer any longer than you did... I will take care of mom and Barney and Angus... I will keep in touch with Robbin... I will keep you alive in the hearts of my family : )

Thank you God that Papa Gene passed through my life for over 19 years... I will see him again!!